Writing My Heart Out

I wondered this week, how heart surgeons got past the rib to the heart. I found it out: they saw through the sternum and open the chest like a book.

This is what I feel the need to do to myself.

Badoom, badoom, badoom – there it is on the page to steady me.

Bad doom bad doom bad doom but it is constant, being reassuring. Without thought. That squeeze roots right down and shapes my cloudy thoughts; water vapours of fantasy are blinked away; the air I breathe becomes solid. No longer disembodied.

These inner thoughts are not as dark as the words I can find to express them seem. A cloud is not dark after all, but bright, and fluffy looking. I am not lost in the clouds, I am simply transported by them, floating, up and out of my me-ness, to become something other… and than I stumble into a wall, a real one, and find that I have been somewhere else entirely. But I am surely my body as well as my mind, and this conscious doing, conscious processing, is necessary to bind the two together.

It has become a habit to disengage from reality, so I must write my heart out to make my dreams come true.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

MakeItUltra™

Psychology to Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

SKYLARITY

Mindfulness, Spontaneity and Authenticity

Travel Much?

Never cease to explore and tell!

livewithstyle19

live your life in your own way

Live Information Blog

Catch Latest Information And Trends

Coscelia

Acrylic Set,Bags&Purses&Handbags, Bikini, Colorful UV Gel, Makeup Palette Brushes, Nail Art & Tools, UV Nail Art Set, Baby Potty Training, UV Lamp & Drill

Squeeze the Space Man's Taco

A journey into Cade's world

Quill & Parchment

I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good

The Span of My Hips

Body love, mental health, and critical theory

Max

tha'sss right

Polysingleish

adventures in honest non-monogamy

feministkilljoys

killing joy as a world making project

Let's Queer Things Up!

Queer/trans identity. mental health. cats.

%d bloggers like this: